My Trusty Red Bag

与曾叔叔闲聊: 我的值得信赖的红包 (Dan Zhao 翻译)

Accidental falls are a major reason for death in seniors. If you’re young you might be thinking of parents and grandparents who are at risk. Indeed, I’ve personally heard of too many instances of very serious falls in older people. As a result, they injure their back, neck or brain, or fracture their bones; and become bed-ridden, some never getting up from bed thereafter.
意外跌倒是一个老年人死亡的主要原因。如果你还年轻,你可能在想你的父母亲和祖父母会有危险。确实,我曾经亲耳听过很多老年人很严重地摔伤。结果就是,他们摔伤了他们的后背,颈部或是大脑,亦或是骨折;导致卧床不起,一些人甚至再也不能从床上起来。

An overseas mother came to visit her son, a new faculty member in my department in Cincinnati. While staying at her son’s home, in the middle of the night she fell down a full flight of stairs. She remarked whimsically to herself when she hit the bottom that “at least I finally tasted American lobster, before I go.” There were no lobsters where she came from in England, so it was a good thought. And she survived to tell the story, which was reassuring, especially since I was to “blame” for recruiting her son, partly by entertaining him through the same delicacy, his first time also.
一个国外的妈妈来看她的儿子,在辛辛那提我的部门的一个新来的教员。当在她的儿子家里住的时候,半夜里她从一整段的楼梯上摔下来。她在撞到地上的时候自我解嘲地对她自己说“至少我在摔下去之前终于尝到了美国龙虾。”在她从英国来的城市,并没有龙虾,所以也可以算是个自我安慰。她幸存下来讲这个故事,让我松了一口气,特别是因为我可以被指责将她的儿子招来我们科,部分原因是在他第一次来的时候款待他吃同样的美味。

Recently, during a visit back to Cincinnati, my wife slipped down a few carpeted stairs in a dear friend’s home. She landed on the stairs on her back and broke a rib. Unfamiliar stairs, slippery slippers, holding onto cup and plate, all contributed to the event. No major disaster fortunately, but 6 weeks of some pain and discomfort, and the potential for disaster. That really started me thinking. Was there some simple way falls or back injuries could be prevented, since the consequences could be life-threatening!?
最近,回访辛辛那提的时候,我太太在一个好友家里的地毯楼梯上滑下来。她后背着地,摔倒了一根肋骨。不熟悉的楼梯,太滑的拖鞋,端着杯子和盘子,都是这次事故的原因。好在的是没有大的损伤,但是六个星期的疼痛和不适,和可能的不幸。这真地促使我思考。有什么简单的办法可以预防跌倒和背部损伤,因为后果可能是丧失性命!?

One cold winter day in Cincinnati, the beloved leader of our hospital was watching from his garage door, while his wife was taking out their trash to the curbside. He was a tall elegant figure standing there in the cold, but within a split second he was on the ground. Little did he realize, he had slipped on the icy pavement. His thigh bone, the femur, was described later by doctors to be extra strong, so solid that the head of the bone smashed into his pelvic bone and shot it into smithereens.
在辛辛那提一个寒冷的冬日,我们敬爱的医院领导在车库旁边看着他的太太拉垃圾桶到街上。他是一个高高优雅的人站在寒风中,但是转瞬间他就倒在了地上。他自己都不知道,他滑倒在结冰的地面上。他的大腿骨,股骨,被医生们描述成极为强壮,以至于像一根铁棍一样把他的盆骨都撞碎了。

He wound up that night in the Intensive Care Unit, and nearly died hours later from a sudden leg clot that was flung towards his lung arteries. A series of operations and months of hospital stay followed, causing lots of pain and misery. All from a “simple” fall. How could this disaster have been prevented?
他当晚就住进了重症监护室,差点儿几个小时后就在腿部血栓流向肺动脉时死掉。一系列的手术和几个月的住院治疗随之而来,造成了很多的痛苦。这些都是从“好像只是摔倒”引起的。到底怎么可以预防这个悲剧呢?

One winter in Seattle I also slipped on ice near our condo parking spot, so suddenly, literally in a split second that I didn’t even realize I was falling, until I was flat on the ground. This was really surprising to me since, unlike Cincinnati in the Midwest, Seattle rarely has ice. In Cincinnati in winter, knowing that there was snow and ice, I might have been more careful. So likely, I was caught off my guard.
在西雅图的一个冬日,我也在我们居民楼的停车场附近的冰上滑倒,所以在一刹那之间, 几乎是在我都躺在了地上我才意识到自己跌倒了。这件事让我非常惊讶,因为不像中西部的辛辛那提,西雅图很少结冰。在辛辛那提的冬天,因为知道有雪和冰,我可能会更小心。所以有可能是,我太大意了。

But fortunately, I landed on my trusty back pillow-bag, without any significant back injury, neck twist or concussion at all. Just a minor bruise on my back. I wasn’t carrying my favorite red bag to protect from falls, but it was in the right place at the right time.
我是很感激我倒在了我值得信赖的后枕包,所以没有受到如何背部损伤,颈部扭伤,或是脑震荡。只有我后背一点瘀青。我不是为了防备跌倒而背我喜爱的红包,但是它在适当的时候出现在适当的地方。

I used to travel internationally a lot for my medical mission and medical lectures, often 7-8 times per year across oceans. Those 15 to 20 hour economy class air flights made me sit slouched over a laptop for long stretches that injured my back sciatic nerves. I had 3 serious painful sciatica nerve compression attacks, each time after long air travel.
我以前经常为我的医疗服务和医学讲座而进行国际旅行,经常每年7-8次穿越重洋。那些15-20小时的经济舱飞行让我堆坐在那里并且在一个笔记本电脑上连续工作伤到我后背的坐骨神经。我曾经有过3次非常严重的坐骨神经挤压症,而且每次都发生在长途飞行旅行之后。

I remember lying in my medical mission office couch bed in Hong Kong, moving my body very gently, trying to find the sweet spot where the pain from my sciatic nerve pinch would be the least. So that I wouldn’t make it worse, and I could “survive”. As I lay there, dozens of well-wishers streamed by. Since they were mostly health related workers, recommendations were thick and fast. After all, we were a medical mission!
我记得躺在香港我的办公室里的沙发床上,小心翼翼地翻身,想要找到一个合适的体位能够让我的坐骨神经痛减到最低。这样我才能“挺过去”,让我的痛不至于更坏。在我躺在那里的时候,迎来一连串的嘘寒问暖。因为他们大多数是医疗工作者,建议是又多又快。毕竟,我们是一个医疗团队!

“You have to go to surgery!” “I had a great acupuncturist and he cured me instantly.” “You should see a chiropractitioner, they are the best!” “I do chiropractice, and I can fix you quickly….” Actually in the process of trying to “fix me”, this man flipped my neck so dramatically (as part of his treatment) without warning or permission, that it freaked me out, I thought he was breaking my neck!
“你一定要做手术!”“我有一个超棒的针灸师当场就治好了我。”“你应该去看一个正骨医师,他们是最好的!”“我做正骨,我可以很快把你治好。。。”确实就在他“医治”我的时候, 这个人没有如何警告或同意的情况下夸张地扭了一下我的脖子(作为他治疗的一部分),吓了我一跳,我以为他要扭断我的脖子!

Others said, “You should be on pain pills and steroids.” “You need to see the neurologist!”
其他人说,“你应该吃止痛药和激素。”“你应该去看神经科医生!”

This last advice I followed. Being highly academic myself, when I returned home to Cincinnati, I found the most academic neurologist at the University, and went through a ton of research papers he recommended. I discovered to my extreme amusement that indeed surgery seemed to help in ~60% of cases, which sounded OK. But people who saw acupuncturists had a ~60% good response. People who saw chiropractitioners had a ~60% chance of getting better. And those who took a simple physical therapy approach had, you got it(!) a ~60% response. Being totally academic, my conclusion was obvious. Together with this careful doctor, we settled on physiotherapy as a cautious simplest approach.
我听从了最后的一个建议。因为我是相当重视科学研究的,当我返回辛辛那提之后,我找到了大学里最权威重视科学研究的神经科医生,读了一大堆他推荐的文章。我惊奇地发现一个有趣的数据。手术看起来能改善大概60%的病人,好像听起来不错。可是那些采用针灸治疗的其中60%也有很好的疗效。看正骨医生的里面也有60%好转。那些简单地采取物理治疗的人里面,你猜对了(!),也是60%的有改善。作为一个学术研究者,我的结论很明显。在这个谨慎的医生的建议下,我们决定物理治疗是一个最简单谨慎的方案。

My general approach to any treatment is the age old medical practice dictum, “first, do no harm”, and so being relatively stoic, I took minimal to no pain killers, no opiates and no steroids, which avoided drug side effects; and avoided the surgeon!
我的一般策略是那条医学古训,“第一,不伤害”,所以本着坚强的原则,我很少吃止痛药,没有鸦片类制剂,没有激素,避免了药物的副作用;也避免了医生!

And I got this magical advice from my good doctor, “In the long run, try to protect your back, since your long distance plane flights likely made you crouch over your laptop for far too long. Those flight seats are notorious for being the worst seats in the world, since they essentially force you into the crouching position, which over many hours can lead to nerve compressions. So figure out a way to keep your back straight, or thrust your lower back forward in the natural lumbar curve, lower spine convex forward, rather than in the common opposite crouching position.”
我从那个好医生那里得到了这条神奇的建议,“长久之计,保护好你的背部,因为你的长途飞行极有可能让你在笔记本电脑前驼背太久。那些飞机座椅是世界上最烂的椅子,因为它们基本是逼迫你在弯腰曲背的体位,很多个小时后会造成神经挤压。所以找到一个方法可以让你的背保持直立,或者让你的下端脊柱向前弯以符合正常的腰椎曲线,而不是相反的弯腰曲背。

In short, the little red bag was born, made to fit and support the natural curve of my lower back. Since then, for decades now, I have used this bag to augment this natural curve, as protective physical support for my back. On flights, at work, and on any chairs. I am guessing it has already saved me $100,000s in unnecessary hospital care costs, and weeks or months of pain related to repeat sciatica attacks or back operations.
说白了,小红包就此诞生,刚好适合我的腰的正常曲线。自此以后,十多年了,我都用这个包来增强正常曲线,就像我后背的保镖一样。在飞机上,工作时,和任何椅子上。我猜它可能帮我省了100,000多美元不必要的医疗费,几个星期甚至几个月的坐骨神经痛或是手术。

Photo 1: My famous multi-million miles red-now-blue bag goes with me everywhere. It is likely a comforting “security blanket,” but hey, there are worse things to carry around.
照片1:我著名的几百万英里红-现在-蓝包陪我走天涯。它就像是一个舒适的“安全毯,”不过,还有比它丑的东西带在身边。


God made that lumbar curve “naturally”, naturally for a good reason! And this more physiologic approach fits my general assumption that God’s natural healing process in the body, surprisingly often trumps modern day drugs and surgery, when given the right timely opportunity.
上帝把腰椎曲线做得“自然”,自然有一个好的原因!这个更符合生理的方式迎合了我一贯秉承的假设,那就是上帝的自然愈合过程,如果在适当的时候采用,常常惊奇地超过现代药物和手术的效果.

The charm of the little red bag was that it was simple to make, essentially housing a small pillow, firmed up with cardboard or a thin book. Inexpensive and home-made, by my trusty wife of course. There’s nothing like it, and you can’t even find it on Amazon! Dressed up in an innocuous looking bag that seemed like it had a function, so I could carry it around without “arousing suspicion”. After all, a grown man carrying a pillow around might cause a minor scandal.
小红包的魅力就在于它非常容易制作,其实就是装个小枕头,用硬纸板或一本薄薄的书做硬核。便宜自家制作,当然是来自我值得信赖的太太。别的地方都买不到,甚至在亚马逊上都找不到!外观上打扮了一下,这个包包看上去好像有其他功能,所以我可以到处背着它而不至于“引起怀疑”。毕竟,一个大男人到处背着一个枕头是有伤风化的。

In fact, some airline hostess challenged me that my bag was counted as a bag by her luggage rules, until I smiled and said that “it’s a pillow for my bad back, because you (smile) don’t have any pillows on the plane.” Which was true and usually enough to embarrass her to relent.
事实上,有一些空姐按照航空规矩强要把我的包包算作一个随身携带的行李。可是当我笑着说“这是一个为了我的坏腰准备的枕头,因为你们(笑着说)飞机上没有任何枕头。”这是真的而且一般足以让她感到羞愧甚至抱歉。

After I started carrying the bag around, my back pains have all but disappeared, now for decades, unless I didn’t use it, or was testing its removal, when the back and leg pain began to sneakily appear again.
自从我开始带着这个包包到处旅行以来,我的背痛完全消失了,现在过了几十年,除非我没用它,或是要尝试停止使用它,我的腰腿痛开始又反复了。

Some people might suspect my bag is “just a security blanket,” but it has now proven itself again. My fall on Seattle ice was a reminder that a split second might be all that separated me from total disaster. My wife and son just a few feet away, had no inkling that I was falling, until I was on the ground. I did not even recall the fall; it happened so fast my brain had not registered it. In America, a good split second fall at my age might cost over $100,000 of health care costs, so it was quite a “save”.
有些人可能怀疑我的包包“只是一个安全毯”,可是事实再次证明这是有价值的。我在西雅图冰上摔的一跤再次提醒我只要瞬间便足以让我染上大祸。我太太和儿子只有几步远,他们在我倒在地上之前都都不知道我跌倒。我甚至都不记得怎么跌倒的;来得太快以至于我的大脑都来不及记录。在美国,我这个年纪摔一跤会造成100,000美元的医疗花销,所以这个包包帮我省了不少钱。

For me, a “simple” bag was able to quietly prevent a potential major disaster. Since “prevention is better than cure”, and certainly better than death, some future innovator could spiff up the bag like a car air-bag activated by collision!? A bag to sense even a split second fall!? Air-bags are now standard in cars, so why not someday in humans, embedded in a simple bag or maybe even on belts?
对我来说,一个“简单的”包包能够悄悄地预防一个潜在的大灾难。既然“预防优于治疗”,当然一定胜过死亡,一些未来的发明者可能会设计一些包包就像汽车防撞气囊会被激发一样!?一个可以探测到甚至瞬间的倒下? 防撞气囊现在已经是汽车里的标准配备,所以为什么有一天不能在人身上,放一个简单的包包或者是安全带?

In the meantime, I’ll keep carrying my trusty red, now blue bag: it has supported my back through millions of travel miles. I’ll wait for that fancier $300 version, say in 2040?
暂时,我会继续背着我值得信赖的红包,现在是蓝包:它已经保护我的后背百万英里的旅行。我在等待300美元的豪华版,也许2040年会出品?


Photo 2: Watch out for winter steps, slips, and slides that result in 6 figure health care costs or worse. Even in deceptively beautiful Seattle which reputedly “doesn’t “snow much”. A trusty red bag could be strategic.
照片2:小心冬天的台阶,滑倒就会造成6位数的医疗费用或者更遭。甚至在看起来美丽的西雅图这个知名的“不怎么下雪”的城市。背一个值得信赖的包包也许是非常好的策略。